How to Get a Day Off Work in the 21st Century

So all you want to do is leave work to go relax and maybe even party. Maybe your boss is even out of town (like mine is) and you have no desire to stay at work, what do you do?

Here are the Top 5 Ways on How to Get a Day off Work in the 21st Century.

5. Sorry, the internet isn’t working

If you have not used this excuse yet to get out of work then you are just not thinking clearly. In a world that revolves around “staying connected” it is truly a bummer when the internet goes out. As technology gets better this problem becomes less frequent but that doesn’t mean it does not work. Most bosses are not tech savvy and still remember dial up or, heck, when there was no internet so they are going to believe you when you pull the “internet isn’t working” card. Trust me, I have done it before to get out of my Masters’ class and it works every time (sorry all professors who are reading this, I really did have problems).

4. For some reason I can’t login

The first step of working on the internet is logging in to some program or remote access and every once in a while it doesn’t work. Perhaps the IT department is making you change your password or they got a new program and didn’t tell you, either way login problems happen. And today it happened (or at least that is what you are going to say). Just text your boss saying you can’t login, he/she will have to help you figure it out if they want you to work. If they are too busy to help, which most bosses are, then you get off all day. Whatever you do, do not call them. If you call they will fix the problem within the hour and you will be only out of work for the afternoon at the most. Just “work on other things” while they fix the problem and at least you can spend your time at work watching YouTube or reading Friday Fun Blog: Geeks and Nerds at their Best.

3. My emails aren’t coming in

Most work conversations now take place via email but what happens when your email stops working? In my case, just a week ago this really did happen and I was stuck with nothing to do. Tell your boss that you did not receive her/his emails. He/she may think it is their email problem. If they prove it’s not theirs, they will test yours. He/she will continue to try and email you until he gives up and asks the tech guy to help. If you really want to ensure you don’t have to work, tell your boss you tested emailing others as well and they have not received anything. Your boss now has to ask the IT department to fix it giving you hours to do whatever you want.

2. The computer keeps on freezing

We have all done it, we open too many browsers and programs and the next thing we know our computer is frozen. When your computer continues to freeze it gets frustrating and makes it nearly impossible to work. Call your boss up and tell him you are overly frustrated that your computer continues to freeze and that it is making it impossible to work. If he/she is nice, and after all it is a Friday, they will tell you it is ok and do the best you can. What this means to you is that you can putts around all day and your boss will attribute the lack of tangible work to your computer problems. Just make sure to say it continues to freeze and not that it is frozen, this way you can do about 1 hours’ work in an 8 hour period without seeing the tech guy.

1. I don’t know what’s wrong but everything is funky

Now only do this tip if you are desperate as it involves actually messing up your computer for a bit of time. Find a tech savvy friend who knows a lot about computers and have them change your .dll files to something different (make sure they note which ones they did). This will make some of programs incapable of being open and thus more time for you play. Better yet, have them disconnect your power cord to the motherboard and therefore making it impossible to turn on your computer. This will make it appear that your computer is “dead” preventing you from working. BAM — a day off!

Bonus Note:

I recommend that you become BFFs with your IT department. In the case that they are on top of their game, they will call bull on you. If you are friends with them they may keep your secret. Think about bribing them with food or a year of free WoW (World of Warcraft to the non-gamers out there). I don’t know but the message is still the same, become friends with your tech guys and experience the ease of getting out of work in the 21st century.